reality check. 5.

there were so many questions and so many unfulfilled dreams and desires. but reality doesn't care about questions, worries, dreams, or desires. life happens whether we are ready for it or not. death, too.


it was a beautiful, and slightly warm wednesday morning when we gathered at the funeral home and walked together to the burial site. it was a just a small collection of family and a few friends. my friend said a few words, read a passage from the Bible... 


There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heave: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)


this was the passage that my friend had read that second day as we held hands and looked out over the creek in lake tahoe. these are well-known and often-cited scriptures, especially at those moments when reality makes itself so present. and they turned out to have even more significant meaning that day of the burial.

after the reading, everyone had an opportunity to lay a rose on the casket and say their final goodbyes before the burial. it was difficult and moving, and while everyone experienced the burial in their own way (some people watching, some people consoling each other, others taking a short walk to collect their thoughts) one of the attendees quietly sang a beautiful chorus of amazing grace. 


only a few hours after we laid my friend's mother to rest, Ecclesiastes came to reality in a very significant way: another friend of ours welcomed her new son into the world. a miracle and blessing on a day of grief and sadness. a time to mourn and a time to dance.