finished!

it is hard to believe that i am DONE with school. done! as of friday, april 9, when i turned in my dissertation.

i expected to just hand the two very thick documents over to the registrar and walk out, a free woman. but i was surprised when the registrar had me sit down with her as she paged through all 130 pages to ensure that i met the formatting criteria. she even pulled out a ruler to check the margins! fortunately, all was in order, and she gladly accepted my two dissertation copies. i left the registrar's office and did a dance of joy. i'm done! woo hoo!

the big moment!

(see the ruler? i wasn't kidding!)

on the (interview) road again

last week - in between my defense and turning in my dissertation (blog entry to come!), i went out to the southwest for a job interview. i have been incredibly lucky to get 3 different interviews, and have enjoyed each of them - although they have each been unique experiences.

the first one, in the midwest, was a great interview. i really clicked with the other staff and i knew my research aligned perfectly with the research they were conducting. but i had hardly slept, had a headache, cramps, and was on the first day of a two-week cold - i felt terrible!

the second nearly made me sick with nerves, and although everything went well, i didn't feel like i had "wowed" anyone. (i hadn't).

this third one was fun because i got to see a new city. on the flight out there, i was sitting in front of a young girl and boy - they were probably about three and four. and they were, of course, asking a lot of questions.

little girl: "dad, why are there paper bags in our seats?"
dad: "well, the bags are there just in case someone feels sick. then they can use the bag."
girl: "what happens if everyone on the whole plane uses their bags?"
me: "let's hope it doesn't come to that"

okay, i didn't say that, but i definitely thought it. the dad, wisely, came back with, "well, i'm sure the flight attendants have extra bags." i'm just hoping i'm never on a flight where every passenger needs their barf bag!

after arriving at my destination, i was picked up at the airport by a car service (the driver was holding a sign with my name and everything!), which was great, and the driver was nice enough to point out some of the local sites as we drove to the hotel. but he did make a couple of comments that i wasn't really sure how to respond to. when he said, "there's a gun store over on that corner, if you're into guns," i kind of just sat quietly. but when he said (completely out of nowhere), "no matter what they say, never believe an indian. they drink QUITE a bit"  i had no idea what to say. would "okay, bigoted gun enthusiast. thanks for the advice" work? i chose silence.

the chatty driver was really the only thing outrageous to happen during my visit. the interview went well, i really enjoyed meeting other staff and hearing about their work. everyone was incredibly warm and inviting. i'm hoping for a job offer, but not sure how it will work out...

in like a lion, out like a lamb

march has been quite a month! it started with a great disappointment - not getting the dream job. i was really sad because i have really enjoyed working there and would have loved to be there full time. i could have been killer there. i would have rocked it. i am also a little sad because it would be incredible to live on the beach and have a sweet job. and, it was a little embarrassing to have to go back to the people that work there - who were rooting for me - and tell them that i didn't get hired.

it's disappointing and sad and frustrating, especially because there are only a few things i could have done better. i wasn't exceptional, but i was probably as good as i could be. at the very least i was at 90% - the other 10% was lost to nerves and not preparing for two questions i could have prepared for.

but, God has proven (Him)self over and over. i feel so blessed to even have received an opportunity to work there - let alone work there twice! and interviewing there!?! amazing. clearly, this goes beyond me. so i was definitely sad, and i definitely had a pity party. but now that it's over, now that the kleenex are put away and i'm done feeling sorry for myself, i have started to make peace with it.

and just in time, because as march has ended, i feel like i am standing on the precipice of something great. on the very last day of the month, i successfully defended my dissertation. the night before my defense, i wasn't nervous about screwing up or having something go terribly wrong. but i was struck by the gravity and awesomeness of this moment. this is a point of no return - my life will never be the same again. and i can only hope and pray that the Lord has more in store for me than i can even imagine as i stare into the glorious unknown. it's incredibly empowering, but also a little dizzying!