i woke up this morning upset and nervous about not having any job prospects. before i even got out of bed i opened up my laptop and was checking out pay rates and opportunities with disneyland (how much fun would i have working there?). after breakfast, i promptly began tackling my main task for the day: job hunting. usually, i spend some time checking email, updating facebook, generally procrastinating, but today i was motivated. motivated primarily by anxiety and general upsetness - i don't feel like i made a mistake turning down my only job offer, but it is a very real possibility that i won't receive another one. how do i explain that to employers next year? who would hire someone who didn't work for a year? all of these questions (and more) were playing over and over in my mind, drowning me in self-doubt.
so. i'm an hour into my frantic job search, i literally have eight firefox windows with job opportunities that i need to read through, and i get a phone call. from an arizona area code. "it's the u of a calling to tell me they have filled the position," i think to myself. i take a deep breath and answer the phone. here's how it goes:
"good morning, this is stacy."
"hi stacy, this is dr.busy from the university of arizona."
"hi dr.busy, how are you?" [why am i filling in time with small talk?]
"i'm good, this morning. yourself?" [slight sigh of relief. when i had this exact exchange with the person from rand she said, "i'm okay, but i have some disappointing news"]
"i'm okay, thank you."
"great. stacy, i'm calling to see if you are still interested in the position with us." [wait, what?]
"oh! yes." [i don't think i hid the surprise from my voice, and i didn't know what else to say]
"well, we'd like to offer you the position, if you are still interested. i have a few questions for you before i can put the paperwork together..."
we went on to discuss a few odds and ends, and i could barely stop myself from saying to her, "but it's been 3 weeks since i interviewed! i had given up on you! i MUST be your 2nd choice, right? RIGHT?" well, no matter what choice number i was, or how long it took to respond, i am delighted to have a job offer - and one i will probably accept! before graduation! i was not looking forward to fielding everyone's questions at graduation (and the subsequent parties), and definitely not looking forward to counting how many times i heard, "so, you spent all this time in school and still have no job?"
for the rest of my conversation with dr.busy i was completely in shock. i even knew that i sounded odd (i.e., not excited), so i purposely tried to make my voice an octave higher so that i would sound excited. i didn't want my boss to get the wrong idea from the very beginning - yes i am glad to get your offer, not just taking it because i have to!
in the midst of my complete shock, dr.busy asked me how soon i could start. i didn't even have a calendar in front of me, but i thought about my graduation, the week-long vacation after graduation, and the few days it would take to move, and said, "the beginning of june is probably the earliest i could start." when she said, "how about june 1st?" i didn't have the presence of mind to think about how soon that REALLY was, i just said okay. i will have to think about whether to try and make june 1st work... although it will put me on a very tight time schedule, i think it might be better in the long run. we'll see.
anyways, i had been so stressed out about the job situation, and if i had only waited patiently, and trusted in God, all of that worry could have been avoided! typical! maybe next time i will remember this lesson and wait instead of worry (or maybe not).
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